Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Share the Love

Today, starts the one week countdown to Valentine's Day! Before I even get started on this post, let me just tell you my thoughts on Valentine's Day... For starters, I refer to it as "Forced Awkwardness Day."

I mean, I love getting dressed up and going out on the town for a nice dinner, but I don't want to go fight the crowd of couples feeling required to eat in a dimly lit candle lit restaurant. I love getting flowers, but I want flowers because Brandon loves me and thinks I am wonderful... not because it's the 14th of February and every decent husband is supposed to bring home flowers. I love chocolate, but I love chocolate on all days that end in "y" so that's not too big of a deal to me either.

Here's a prime example of what does NOT make me giddy and happy and totally feeling loved on Valentine's Day: Half dead tulips with the Wal-Mart sticker still on the side (Don't get me wrong, I've got NOTHING against Wal-Mart flowers... I think flower shop flowers are WAYYYY overpriced, so I don't think any less of the more reasonable WM flowers but at least go buy them a little early before the selection is picked over... and for goodness sake, pick the sticker off the side! And add a little ribbon tied in a bow while you're at it, put in a little effort here) and a honest-to-goodness 7-Eleven plastic sack with five packages of Chewy Sprees, and their $1.05 price tag still stuck to each bag. In the guy's defense, Chewy Sprees were my favorite candy at the time... other than that, this was an EPIC FAIL. Boy (whose name I will not disclose), you should be ashamed of yourself!!! (NOTE: This dreadful Valentine's day was my own stupid fault, I should have dumped him when he, in all seriousness, told my father my best trait was that I was debt free. The fact that my daddy didn't kill him on the spot, is a miracle straight from Jesus.) Unfortunately, this was a true story and I have lots more where those came from...

On a more pleasant note, here's what DOES make me happy on Valentine's Day... call me high maintenance, but I'd choose a thoughtful handwritten love note ANYDAY over dinner and chocolate. (Yeah, I left out flowers because I really do love flowers... they are up there with thoughtful handwritten love notes.) I don't think Valentine's Day is worthy of expensive gifts... I much prefer thoughtful gifts. Think sweet note and a mani/pedi (Husband, are you reading this? In case you are confused, this would be me dropping you a hint.)... and don't worry so much about dinner! I'll cook up something yummy and you can grab a cute little lovey movie from Redbox and we'll eat and then cuddle on the couch while watching a totally pointless, thoroughly predictable, yet completely adorable chick flick. Now THAT is a great Valentine's Day folks!

BUT here's the big twist... Whether you're married or dating or single, Valentine's Day is a day devoted to LOVE - why does it just have to be about LOVE for one person? In the past year, I have felt incredibly, overwhelmingly loved by so, so many people that I want to

Share the Love this Valentine's Day!!

Starting from the top and going clockwise: Flowered Thank You - TJMaxx, "K" - Anthropologie,
Green Leopard and "Raegan King" - Occasions, Blue Floral - Walmart.

As you may remember, in an earlier blog I did about Playing A Little Catch Up I answered a few questions that my mom had asked about my reflections on 2011. She jokingly, started the line of questions off with "List five things that make your mom the best..." I happily obliged since, well, she was the only one that asked any questions and I DO really believe that my mom is the best. Little did I know that answering that silly little question would have such a profound impact on her... at first she didn't say anything about it, but about a week later I received this email:

Well I haven't discussed this with you on the phone because I wanted to say it right and I just was afraid I wouldn't.  Your blog regarding the questions posted by your mother was so special for me. I really was just kidding when I wrote the part about myself on the questions (I thought my other 2 were quite good and insightful, by the way).  I, in no way, expected you to list anything.  But, you did and your response is priceless to me.  My mothering duties are basically over (though I am still working on some fine tuning on Zac).  And when the thing you have focused your life on for 27 years comes to a close you tend to sit back and wonder if you were a good mom - what will my kids say about their childhoods, their home life?  Will it be "Well, I'll NEVER be like my mom because...." ?  You don't really get any feedback on your mothering.  You tend to console yourself with the fact that your kids are awesome and admired by all, and you may like to think their accomplishments are a direct result of your amazing mothering skills - but, since I know some kids who are pretty amazing and accomplished and have simply terrible mothers - it's hard to take a lot of credit for that.  Most Moms don't get the chance to have feedback from their kids - they just sit back and wait to see what kind of nursing home the kid will pick for them - that's their feedback.  Therefore, thank you for this priceless gift.  I am pretty sure I do not deserve all your sweet words but I am going to revel in them anyway... Thank you for giving me such a sweet gift.  I have thought it over and realized I should give this same gift to my parents - so Valentine's Day seems a perfect opportunity.  I love the saying:

 "Kindness is the most difficult thing to give away
because it is almost always returned". 

I will pay your kindness forward.  Thank you for not making me wait for the Nursing Home to know.   Thank you for forgetting the bad and remembering the good about your mother (at the end of many days I would pray "please Lord take this and this and this from her remembrance").  Thank you for sharing your life with me - for telling me about the good, the bad, the ugly and all the in betweens. Thank you for being my amazing, beloved, precious Raegan.  I love and adore you........Mama

I guess I never thought about giving my parents feedback... I mean, I tell them they are good parents and I think my brother and I turned out pretty decent, so I just figured that was good enough. Except that I don't want my parents to think they did "good enough," I truly believe I have the very best parents in the whole entire world and I want them to have the very, very best of everything - including feedback!

So, this is my challenge to you this Valentine's Day... Go grab some stationary or pretty cards, take some time to sit down and write the people you LOVE. Think about it first, write a rough draft, and then use your best handwriting because I promise you, whoever receives your love note will treasure it for a long, long time. I had a very sweet note that my cousin Callie wrote me framed and it is proudly displayed in our study. It means the world to me... your kind words will mean the world to those you love too. I promise.

Be Blessed!


  1. I laughed at your story of an epic fail on V-Day! Couldn't agree more that it is "Forced Awkwardness Day! It really is quite cheesy. If it weren't for the pink+red color palette, I think I'd disregard it all together! :)



  2. Raegan, what a great idea!! I'm inspired to share the love with all the great people in my life, not just my hubby! And btw, the letter from your mom was so sweet. I love the close relationship you have with your parents. What a blessing!

  3. I have learned two valuable lessons reading your blog today: 1)Don't read and drink at the same time (I am home for lunch and almost showered my computer when I read about the "spree guy" saying your best quality was being debt-free. Some other girl might be wishing right now that your dad had killed him then.) 2)Don't read this blog while on lunch. I now have to deal with a mascara malfunction before returning to work bc of the letter from your mom.