Love & Marriage: Making Your Marriage A Priority

Date night at an outdoor concert

We are in the third week of Love & Marriage link up! If you missed the earlier posts, you can find Week 1: In the Beginning here and Week 2: For Better or For Worse here. I've really enjoyed writing these because they have really made me sit down and think... I take a stab at  what I think works best, what the hardest parts are, etc and then then I ask Brandon to see if we are on the same page or if I'm off chasing rabbits. So far - same page! Yay! It's nice to know that you are both thinking along the same lines about your marriage...

 

As for making your marriage a priority... The questions raised were along the lines of how do we keep our marriage interesting? How do we focus on us? How do we keep from being distracted?

One of Brandon's favorite things...
He's happy when I go even if I just sit there and work on my sun tan!

Well to be real honest, I'm not the least bit qualified to answer this... Ask me again in nine months when I've got a 6 month old on my hands! Currently our biggest distraction from our marriage is our crazy schedule - between Brandon's ever-changing residency calendar, my nine million law school events and my I-can't-stop-myself habit of planning a party/get-together/dinner date/whatever every week, we end up with a surprisingly small amount of alone time.

 

Date night at the movies

I have a wise friend who once told me, "If the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy." I couldn't agree more! The devil does his very best to keep us so crazy busy... Just one morning at home sounds so incredibly tempting, even if it means missing Sunday morning church. I selfishly look forward to a night Brandon is on call so I can be home all by myself and have no interruptions while cleaning, doing laundry, etc. And worse of all, on the few off nights that we are home at a decent hour we sit in front of a tv to eat dinner while watching our "shows" - that's great for conversation, let me tell you! 

Boomer Sooner!

Having realized how quickly we can loose touch with each other, we've done our best to focus on a few things in order to combat the busy disease.

Rylee is our only car time distraction allowed!

#1. We try to ride in the car together as often as possible - no phone calls, radio or social media allowed. Sometimes this means Brandon drives home from OKC only to turn around, get in the car with me and drive back, but we think it's worth the extra gas. Obviously, there are exceptions, but we do our best to be in the car together without interruption. Since we started dating, the 2.5 hour drive to my hometown was always something we looked forward to... great discussions occur while you're sitting still!

We love a little get away to the lake...

#2. Go somewhere and just get away! Right now the only thing that has slowed us down on this one is our number of days off and, you know, it costs money to go somewhere... I realize that in a few months with Cooper's arrival, packing our bags and hopping on a plane won't be nearly as easy but it is our goal to continue to get away from the craziness that is life. We try to schedule some sort of get-away every quarter. It doesn't have to be an elaborate trip to Europe, we've loved mini-road trips to Dallas or just staying the weekend at my parents' lake cabin! Just go someplace where you can be with your spouse and enjoy each other's company. I think you could ask either of us about our favorite part of traveling and we'd agree that it's the thrill of walking around some place new holding hands, talking and just being together.

Reminder on my phone that Brandon secretly set so that
I would know he was thinking about me while he was at work.

#3. Flirt with each other. I realize this sounds obvious, but I truly believe so many couples flirt, start dating, get engaged, get married and then just go through the day-to-day... Last time I checked there was no rule against flirting with your spouse once you were married! Flirting doesn't have to cost money! I can't tell you how giddy I get to find a little love note propped up on the kitchen sink! Send a sweet text in the middle of the day... Bake a delicious treat for you hubby just because you know he loves peanut butter... Plan a surprise date... ASK your husband to help you not throw like a girl and then go play catch in the backyard... Google "Rick Reilly articles," read a few (they are about sports, but you'll enjoy them promise!) and then surprise your husband by being able to have a somewhat intelligent conversation about the Masters or the NBA playoffs... Take off those yoga pants, put on some make up and try just a little... When you're just sitting around watching tv, go cuddle on the couch even if it means you don't get to sit in the most comfortable chair! I promise that not only will he appreciate your efforts, but he'll most likely return the favor. {MEN if you are reading this - stop at the grocery store and bring home some tulips. They don't have to cost a fortune or even be in a vase, it's the thought that counts! Make your wife feel special!}

See our smiles? They are there because we're waiting to board a flight to paradise!

#4. Pray for your marriage. There is ALWAYS room for improvement... Pray that God shows you ways you can be a better spouse. Pray that God strengthens and blesses your relationship. Pray that God opens communication or takes away any barriers that you and your spouse have that prevent you from being the best wife/husband possible. Pray that through your marriage you will be an example for others to see Christ's love for us. Just pray, pray and then pray some more! Remember that there is no person, thing or hobby that should trump your husband on the priority list other than God. He is our #1. Your spouse is your #2.

 

 

Again, I don't claim to know it all... I claim to know very little! But these are the things I believe... You have to be willing to work hard on your marriage, it is worth it! It isn't always easy, but typically the best things in life don't come free of charge. Brandon and I work hard every single day - some days it's definitely easier than others... but don't give up! Life is not always a fairytale and nobody ever should have told you it was - we have things that we struggle with, things that we fight over and things that try to cause us harm, but if we keep our priorities in order life together will always be good at the end of the day!

 

Be Blessed!

Raegan