Friday, April 13, 2012


Last night, Brandon and I didn't get home until about 10:15 but I stayed up until 11:45 working on a blog post that explained (read: whined) about the rough week I've had... Work has been a phone-ringing-off-the-hook nightmare, we've been tied up every night this week until late, I have yet to finish the laundry from last weekend's trip home, I've had zero time to blog, blah blah blah.

This morning my mom called to tell me that one of our very good family friends had had an accident last night. At the exact time that I was was sitting in bed whining about being busy, my friend's mom was frantically calling 911 as her husband went to meet Jesus in their kitchen floor. This morning I wish God didn't use such powerful illustrations to remind me that I need to have a little perspective. The whining post has been deleted, it's been replaced with this:

Steve and Sandy quickly became friends with my parents when we started attending their church. They are the type of people that are always smiling from ear to ear and you know it's legit, they aren't pretending. They are happy people, lovers of life. 

With Steve, things are always black or white, right or wrong. In the years that I've known him, he never tried to walk the line, he never tried to make a gray area... He always stood for what he believed was right. He loved Christ and he lived his life accordingly.

Sandy and Steve were high school sweethearts. Their love for each other was so obvious. Rarely ever did you see one without the other.

Their kids, Jennifer and Brian, are a year above and below me. You couldn't find two more proud parents. They loved having the kids home (Bryan and Jenn currently live in Dallas) and Steve would gush about his next hunting or fishing trip with Bryan.

Steve and Sandy love, love, love spending time on the lake and many evenings we would meet them heading out on the water as we were coming in for the day - they especially enjoy spending the night on the lake... They are the reason behind #2 on our Pre-Baby Bucket List

They welcomed our family with open arms the second it was established that we were Sooner fans... later they came to accept my mom, overlooking her ties to her orange alma mater. The picture below cracked me up! Steve was one of my dad's friends who showed up, without being asked, the morning of our wedding to help anywhere help was needed. I knew I had a picture of him working and I wanted to find it... I should have known he would have been working on getting the cable set up so that we wouldn't miss the OU v. Florida State game that happened to fall on our wedding night!! The cable never ended up working so Steve and Sandy left immediately after we were announced husband and wife, we weren't offended one bit... Steve was a loyal Sooner fan.

Steve is the guy on the far right working hard! 
Today, my dad's buddy is in Heaven. Even as I type this I can't truly fathom it. My head just cannot wrap itself around how quickly life can take such a drastic change. My heart breaks for sweet Sandy, Bryan and Jenn. Words can't accurately express my sadness. It makes my heart hurt and my head spin and my knees weak. I wish I was there to just hug on them... 

I don't know how to end this post. There are no answers, accidents happen even to the very best of people. I have no wise words. Nothing I can say will comfort this precious family. Nothing I can do can bring back Sandy's husband, Bryan and Jenn's dad, my parent's dear friend. What I know without a shadow of a doubt is this: Steve is rejoicing in Heaven today. God knew exactly what He was doing, I don't understand it right now and I might never get it, but I will not question Him. People in my community are mourning the death of this amazing man, but we will also celebrate his life. We will find the positive in our heartbreak. We will be there for his family - day and night, today and tomorrow, and the days, months and years ahead. 

You may not know Steve, you may live far away from my small town, but this post still applies to you. Everyone knows someone that is grieving. One thing I love about blogging is that people tend to answer questions you are too afraid to ask... How do you ask someone that just experienced a terrible loss, "So, what were the helpful things people did for? What made you feel loved? How can I be of more help next time someone is grieving?" Even if you were really close, it's just awkward. BUT in blogland, people feel comfortable sharing... I think it's because you kind of feel like you are just writing a note to yourself. I began reading a blog called An Inch of Gray over a year ago. Anna was a dumpster diver, funny mother of two, who always had a fun story. This September when the crazy flash floods hit, her elementary school son was in an accident. The blog now focuses on dealing with grief, trying to stay positive, the pouring out of emotion. Sometimes I read her words and I'm emotionally drained - she writes straight from the heart. I want to be her cheerleader, her friend. Recently she wrote a long post, What You Can Do To Help A Grieving Family. Click on it. Grab a pencil and paper and write down a few notes. Her words are her real experience. She gives great suggestions for how to help. She writes powerful, powerful things that make me sit still and ponder... My favorite came from this post - 

Love is a verb. 

Please help me love on my sweet friends by praying for peace and comfort and hope for their wonderful family. Pray that God gives them that "peace that passes all understanding." Pray that their faith is strengthened through this unbearable trial. Please pray... it's the most powerful thing we have to give.

Hug your family today. Keep things in perspective.

Be Blessed.


  1. Beautifully written Raegan. I'm sorry for the loss of a wonderful friend. I have a very dear friend who is going through the loss of her husband to cancer as I write this comment. He has not transitioned yet, but they have been on watch since yesterday morning. It is so hard to wait on God's timing, but we do know that His plan is the perfect plan and we have faith that this is so. Susan was my closest friend all through jr high and high school. They even live 1/2 block away from us now, but our lives took different paths over the years. About 2 years ago, a group of our friends from high school started having GNO (girls' night out) once a month and our friendships have been renewed and strengthened as a result. This, I know is God's plan and I thank Him for blessing us this way. My point is that we have all rallied around her with prayer and love and she has said many times what that support has meant to her. I struggle with wanting to do more for her, but know that really, my love and prayers are the most important things I can do for her. God bless you Raegan for your caring heart. Hugs, Patti

  2. Raegan, this is beautiful because it is all so true. Our family loved Steve so very much. My heart is broken and hurting for Sandy, Bryan, and Jennifer and for the loss of a friend. Steve has always been so good to us, and I'm going to miss him treating us to an afternoon on the lake or a trip to Norman to cheer on OU. I am so happy for Steve in that he is with Jesus, but my selfish side is so sad and depressed because I want our friend back.

    God is our Healer and I keep repeating that over and over. Praise God because I will see him again one day.